How I would hope a day off would pan out…
Wake up naturally and take time to stretch leisurely before contemplating what a wonderful day it is going to be.
Slip out of bed into gorgeous soft robe and slippers, to enjoy a lovely cup of tea in my favourite cup while admiring the view as the sun gently warms the garden.
Spend the morning casually pottering about, reading a book and maybe working on a craft project just for fun.
Take the dog for a walk in the bush enjoying the peace and tranquility as the birds chirp and gentle streams babble along in a soothing and slightly meditative way.
Lunch with friends followed by a little shopping trip where I find a drop dead gorgeous vintage styled dress on sale for 75% off.
Arrive home in time to play some blues music and have a nice glass of wine whilst preparing a delicious meal for my family who will swoon with appreciation as they arrive home from work.
End the day snuggling on the couch with my dear husband in front of the fire.
But then there is the reality…this is what actually happened when I had a day off recently…
I wake up with a splitting headache to the sound of a blaring alarm as although I have day off, hubby still has to go to work today
Begrudgingly clamber out of bed, notice the cat has coughed up a fur ball on my slippers so chuck on some socks instead and search for robe. Grab some decongestants for what is working up to be a miserable head cold.
Gulp down coffee that is going cold whilst trying to simultaneously empty dishwasher, make hubbys lunch and feed dogs their breakfast.
Get sock wet by kicking dogs water dish by accident.
Take the giant curly dog to the vet for his post surgery check up and removal of the Elizabethan collar
cone of shame. Wait as quietly as a giant poodle with a party hat can in the waiting room until the sedative takes effect and he starts to look like he has been drinking chardonnay in the sun. Listen to vet kindly explain that as curly dog is an idiot and has managed to rip his stitches the cone stays on for another week.
Drive back home with a now legless giant curly dog wearing a party hat who can’t seem to remember how to walk up stairs so, haul all 40kg of him up two flights and plonk him in his basket to sleep it off.
Set up camp on the couch with lemon honey and a box of tissues that are marketed as being impregnated with soothing aloe vera….realise quickly that they seem to have packaged them in a sandpaper factory
Some time later, notice snorting sounds are coming from the kitchen. Trying to ignore it but it is not stopping and there is now a clinking sound. This is not ideal. Go and check and find the idiot in the party hat with his head stuck in the adult beverage cart.
Curly dogs favourite show is Border Patrol and I am now dealing with a role-play with a difference, he has bailed up a rat somewhere behind the martini glasses. This is bad, very very bad.
Several hours later my youngest son arrives home and joins in the search with the still snorting cone wearing dog who now is indicating on the freezer, I am watching from the safety of a dining chair.
Apparently I was freaking out over nothing as it was not a giant rat but a mouse…..like it matters! Son finds the offending creature perched on a wall switch at head height which makes my current position standing on a chair not feel as secure as it did just a moment ago.
Now fortunately my son is a fairly gutsy kind of lad and he casually picks up a broom and holds it out to the mouse who then to our mutual surprise actually steps onto it like a budgie and is calmly along for the ride as he is carried out to the garden.
So the moral of the story, as all stories need one. Is to be careful what you wish for as a day off is not always what it is cracked up to be.
Oh and to always tell your son’s you love them as you never know when you need them to save you from a wayward rodent.